Presented by Charmin
Here ye, Here ye, All see and laugh at the DFFL 22 TOILET BOWL IV winner, CAB!
As said before, this di'stink'tion is not one any DFFL owner wants, needs, or desires... However, one of us has to sit on the smelly throne of football fantasy shame. CAB owner, Bart D'Angelo, may have a full proof plan for preventing a repeat performance in 2023. However, this orangutan-crap-throwing festival of a Toilet Bowl is etched in history. CAB's precipitous fall from grace will be studied and analyzed for years to come. The CAB 2022 season will be the lesson-learned for how NOT to play fantasy football; no matter how many times he attempts to spin this epic fiasco as "part of the plan."
Toilet Bowl IV player performances are highlighted by Jalen Waddle - #7 WR in Sleeper Fantasy - receiving less than 9 points, and KJ Osborn - #47 WR in Sleeper - receiving just under 19 points. Even with DMM's QB getting 1 carry for 2 yds (his only production of the day), DMM was able to pull out a close win. Uncovering some of the baby poop from CAB's performance, JaMichal Hasty pulled in a surprising 17.6 points - very good, considering his play behind Etienne and a 6 point projection in Sleeper! CAB's defense did well, Giants got second most scoring behind Justin Fields (21.7) at 18 points. Everyone else on CAB's roster was well under single digits. Of note, CAB will need major changes in NY if he is going to get any consistent play from solid rookie wideout, Garrett Wilson. Quite possibly, CAB intends to move on in the off-season, but I have my doubts. The CAB sphincter factor for holding on to players barely allows a fart to escape; it's up there in the DNF spectrum.
DMM bested CAB in points at most roster positions. The Flex for DMM got over 35 combined points. CAB barely got 15 from all three Flex. DMM's Kicker and Defense (Prater and Seattle, respectively) pulled in a whopping 35 points!! DMM got what he needed from the likes of KJ Osborn (18.4), who outscored NFL best Justin Jefferson (5.5) by over 12 points! Disappointingly, DMM got barely over 2 points from Washington's Curtis Samuel who caught one of 2 targets...very disappointing for a receiver that just isn't consistent, at all!
So that's it! Congratulations(?) DMM on surviving this game with a QB-less roster and less-than-optimal talent. So sad for the CAB Franchise, who will now get busy on fortifying a young roster for future success!
UPDATE:
As I complete this smelly report of the Toilet Bowl IV, CAB as of 0830PM MST on Jan 3, 2023, received the #1 pick for the 2023 DFFL Rookie Draft! Wowser! Congratulations! He'll need it! DMM awaits a possible #2 pick, so that he can continue to rebuild the shambles of a franchise he was handed in 2022. Best of Luck!!
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