Congrats to Top Scorer...DNF
WINNER’S CIRCLE -
So nice to be among a winning group, with winning ways, winning teams, winning players! You make DFFL a shining example for all those who yearn to understand the makeup of a platinum dynasty fantasy league in these trying fantasy production times! Congratulations to:
(DNF⭐⭐⭐🦶🦶), (UGG⭐⭐⭐⭐🦶🛡️🛡️), (PTS⭐🦶), (JWW⭐), (RAF⭐⭐), and (NUT⭐🛡️), in order of points scored.
DANTE’S LAYER -
Time to spend a week in the Fantasy Nine Circles of Hell. Get a chance to second guess all your transactions, your crappy starting lineups, your faulty strategy. Scream in agony so that perhaps the Fantasy Gods will show some modicum of mercy for a comeback. This can’t be how it ends, for me! Tell me I have a chance!?! Better make the right moves and pray for some redemption…next week! #loo-oo-oo-sers:
(DMM⭐), (TMW⭐⭐🛡️), (CAB⭐), (KED⭐), (TIU⭐⭐🦶🛡️), and (MTT), in order of losing points scored.
(KEY: 🛡️-Top 5 Defense/ST, 🦶-Top 5 Kicker, ⭐-Top 5 Player Q/R/W/T)
TOP 5 Notes: UGG and DNF amassed the most Top 5 Players at the end of regular season, and wa-la, they are the two Playoff Teams with BYEs…go figure. Both teams have much gold to mine for in their coffers. The rest of us scavengers are left to rob stagecoaches.
AWARDS -
Tyson Award. Nite, Nite! Thleep Tight!
- DNF (3) gets a TYSON this week for crushing the soul of KED in an almost 95 point rout in Week 14. The DNF schlacking of KED comes down to a few factors; however, the QB, RB and Flex 1 positions were fairly impactful. TLaw had his best day of the season, Huntley got injured after getting less than 10 points. KED’s Chubb was a yuuuuge disappointment, attaining less than 50% of projected points. Hank did okay, getting close to his ‘promised’ 28 points. Finally, Pachecco ceded everything to RAF’s McKinnon getting a mere 14 points in Week 14. Sanders, on the other hand, blew past ‘promised’ points, besting it by over 50%. Both teams’ defenses were horrendous…do better in the playoffs, knuckleheads! UGG wins the most of this award with DNF coming in second.
2022: RAF (1), TIU (2), TMW (1), KED (1), DMM (1), NUT (1), UGG (4), DNF (3)
Historical: JWW 139.88
Cliffhanger Award. By the skin of your teeth and newly discovered hair loss!
- JWW (2) holds on versus DMM in a close one - separated by a mere 9.8 points - earning the CLIFFHANGER, in the last week of Reg Season. This game was fairly efficient if you’re DMM. If you’re the winner of this award; namely, JWW, you could have done better. Almost 80 points were left off the board by JWW in his Homer affair with Dak Prescott and TE Shultz. JWW could have got close to UGG’s score had he replaced those gomers with Cousins and Engram. DMM was given no favors from the likes of Jonnu “goose egg” Smith and Deandre ‘can’t hold a football’ Hopkins. Either of these two get anywhere close to where they were supposed to be, and JWW would have paid for his Homeresque Week 14 mistakes. UGG won the most Cliffhangers this season, with RAF, DNF, and JWW coming in tied for second place.
2022: NUT (1), DMM (1), UGG (3), TMW (1), RAF (2), KED (1), TIU (1), DNF (2), JWW (2)
Historical: “The Tie”’19 (CAB vs RAF); “Nutcracker.54” ‘22 (DNF vs NUT); “Halloween Howler.84”’22 (TMW vs NUT)
Maguire Award. Show me the Money!
- DNF (2) gets only his second MAGUIRE of the DFFL 22 Season, scoring just over 195 points, with the likes of JJ, Henry, and Sanders in his starting lineup. This is not a surprising outcome this week, given DNF’s starting roster. The key piece for DNF this week to earn top awards was the start of TLaw as QB. TLaw had his best week (against DNF’s Homer team…sad). Jefferson, Sanders, and “I can’t Believe I’m Saying His Name”, Diontae Johnson. Shameful start of a Defense (-4 points from Tities), but DNF, with a decent QB, could easily match UGG for most Maguires. Perhaps TLaw will work out in the future. Enjoy the Bye, you Rascal! UGG easily owned the market for this award, grabbing all the weekly cash for himself, and sharing some scraps with the rest of us. Kudos to UGG and a distant second, TMW.
DFFL scored a season low 1543.62 in the final week of the DFFL 22 Season. Heading into the playoffs, this is NOT the best omen for teams looking to shatter records en route to a championship. (Week 13: 1664.88).
2022: PTS (1), TIU (1), TMW (3), RAF (1), UGG (6), DNF (2)
Historical: DNF 246.5
Meme Award. When your best isn’t good enough, but makes for great jokes!
- MTT (2) tripped over the 50 Marker, tumbled head-over-heels, lost all his pocket change, and landed with a thud with just over 75 points this week, earning him his second MEME of the Season. Derelick “my balls” Carr’s 6 points to projected 32 was a factor. Also “Notso” Swift, Duvernah, “goose egg” Fant, Cartier, …the list goes on….did MTT no favors this week. MTT needed an enormous amount of points (not just a win) to best RAF out of Hops Divisional Champ, and instead he got stabbed in the nut sack from some of his top players. Valiant effort, trying to catch the RAF. Perhaps MTT was best postured for postseason glory out of the Hops Division…. Given the production this week, I think not! MTT joins the likes of PTS and NUT for the most laughable, embarrassing Meme performances of the DFFL 22 Season.
2022: TMW (1), JWW (1), DMM (1), CAB (1), PTS (3), RAF (1), KED (1), NUT (2), TIU (1), MTT (2)
Historical: OIE (MTT) 66.04.
Shamrock Award. I found me 4-leaf clover, and though small, I be a winner!
- NUT (3) scored 121.10 points in Week 14, earning him the lowest score for a win, receiving the coveted end of Reg Season SHAMROCK. NUT’s success in Week 14 is as much attributable to TIU’s Bills fettish as it is to his team’s talent. Thankfully for the RAF, he had Mike Williams in at Flex 1. BTW, RAF expects some ‘Thank You’ Cards for all the Holiday cheer he has provided many a roster this season. Send some money with those cards. Additionally, CMC did 33 points worth of production, and Dallas’ Kicker Maher did well for NUT’s lineup. But that was about it. Najee continues to disappoint for where he was at season’s start. Etienne looked turrible. Additionally, NUT listened to the 'anal'ysts too much regarding Homer, and both Tua Stank and MVS continued to disappoint. NUT ties KED at 3 for most Shamrocks of the season.
2022: UGG (1), RAF (1), DMM (1), TMW (1), TIU (1), MTT (3), KED (3), NUT (3)
Historical: CAB 102.7
“Red Shirt” Award. Starfleet security officer taking one for CAPT Kirk.
- DMM (2) earns a RED SHIRT for a highest losing score of 133.08 points, versus JWW. DMM looked good in his clean and pressed Red Shirt as he arrived on Planet DubbaDub Week 14. He looked around. Saw he was with the like of Hurts, Pollard, and Hubbard. He saw that DubbaDub had a Dak and Shultz, with their heads up their asses. He thought, “Hmm…this might be easier than once predicted!” Unfortunately for DMM, he got his Jonnu stuck in his Hopkins while attempting to mount a counter-attack on MNF. He suddenly wished his wifey had pressed a clean Yellow or Light Blue Shirt….for he realized, all too late, the curse of the Red Shirt. Rest in Peace, DMM; there’s always next season. This award was shared often among RAF, NUT, DNF, TIU, and DMM, all tied for 2 for the season.
2022: CAB (1), PTS (1), RAF (2), UGG (1), NUT (2), DNF (2), TIU (2), TMW (1), DMM (2)
Historical: NUT 205.10 (Halloween Howler, Oct22)
Mojo Award. “Yeah, Baby!” Best pickup or start/sit decisions.
- RAF (1) gets the MOJO Award for starting Jerick McKinnon (32.9) in Week 14. McKinnon ended up getting almost 33 points, less than a ⅓ of a point from leader CMC, and essentially tied with Sanders. McKinnon ended up with his best week of the Season, and RAF refused to let these points go to his bench; despite recent McKinnon let downs. Was this decision impactful for the win and thus for #3 Seed in DFFL 2022 Playoffs? No, it wasn’t. Indeed, RAF could have sat McKinnon and left the Flex spot empty and still came out with a ‘W’. However, in Week 14, there isn’t much Mojo to go around. Rosters stank where they were predicted to stank, and those who won did so in predictable ways. Honorable mention goes to NUT with his trust in playing an oft injured Mike Williams (23). JWW, UGG, and DNF had the most Mojo in 2022, and it paid off! All three teams are in the playoffs, and two get Byes! Yeah!, Baby!!
2022: NUT (1), JWW (3), UGG (3), CAB (1), DMM (2), DNF (3), RAF (1)
Historical: EJT (KAK) 58.25 “FitzMagic”
Noonan Award. “Best Ball Award”...na-na-na-na-naaaa!.
- TIU (3) gets the Week 14, end of Reg Season, NOONAN Award. So, TIU started Tee Higgins (000000000). Higgins was injured, but the coaches played a fast one, indicating he was OKAY to play, when in fact he wasn’t…Shameful!! Richie James scored over 16 points, making him a great candidate to play in TIU’s WR1/2 spot. Poor ‘ole DJ Moore got injured after providing TIU with a whopping 1.6 points!! Had Josh Reynolds (16.6) played in that Flex Spot - only a solid WR on a roaring Lions Offense - TIU would have salvaged the day, and put him in contention for the last playoff spot - or at least some solid rock-paper-scissors positioning. Remember, this isn’t an award that one can sometimes predict on a Sunday morning; it’s an award that ArmChairQBs anoint as Sunday fades into history. Is it possible, TIU sits a Higgins, a Moore, or even a Mostert for the likes of Richie James, Bitch! Or even Reynolds?? Probably not. But let me tell you, this is one of my favorite awards to write up….I soooo enjoy Monday Morning pontificating (or in this case, Tuesday Morning..). Honorable mentions go to JWW and UGG. JWW sat 80 points on his bench this week. UGG sat a 24 point Homer Defense for….the…Eagles…blech!! It’s the playoffs! Let’s get some solid Fairway Hits; Noonans and Mulligans get you a seat in Loo-oo-oo-ser Ville!!
2022: TMW (1), PTS (1), UGG (1), DMM (2), MTT (2), RAF (1), JWW (3), NUT (3), TIU (3)
Deck Chairs Award. First Class or Steerage? All equally suck on Titanic!
**As a result of trade deadline, this award is officially retired for the 2022 Season.**
2022: PTS (1), CAB (3), JWW & TIU (1), KED (1), RAF (5), NUT (1)
And that’s that for the DFFL 2022 Awards and Commentary! I’ll figure out some fun comments and remarks based on Playoff and Consolation Bracket performances for next Tuesday. Don’t let down your guard!! Like that famous (and well-liked) Police ballad of 1981, I’ll Be Watching You…and the moves you make…for your lineups. Good Luck!!
~Rudolf, The Red Zone Reindeer
Comments