!!CONGRATULATIONS TMW ON GETTING HIGH SCORE FOR WEEK THREE!!
MANTLE OF MAGNIFICENCE
For the second week in a row, these mighty Week 3 Champs remain in their golden cushy seats in the Hall of Magnificent fantasy football achievements! For the first time in DFFL history, all winners slew their opponents for a second straight week. I’m beginning to think this will remain a trend…we’ll see:
(TMW (3-0)⭐⭐⭐⭐🤺), (DMM⭐⭐🏈(2-1)), (TIU(2-1) ⭐🏈 🤺), (NUT (3-0)⭐⭐⭐🤺), (PTS (3-0)⭐⭐⭐), and (CAB (2-1)) in order of points scored.
CELLAR OF SHAME
Wow! Just WOW! Misery loves company, and apparently the same company, cuz here y’all are….again…in the unforgiving dungeons of fantasy purgatory. Three teams are mainstays in this disgusting, terrifying place heading into October:
(KED(0-3) ⭐🤺), (DNF(1-2) ⭐⭐⭐⭐🏈), (JWW (0-3) ⭐🤺), (MTT 0-3) ), (UGG(1-2) ⭐) and (RAF(1-2) 🏈) in order of losing points scored.
DFFL WEEKLY PRODUCTION NOTES
Free Agent Top 5ers
Brett Maher (K) - 🏈 (3 weeks in a row)
(KEY: 🤺-Top 5 Defense/ST, 🏈-Top 5 Kicker, ⭐-Top 5 Player Q/R/W/T)
TOP 5 Notes:
Ø The 3-0 teams own 10 of 20 Top 5ers (Q/R/W/T) in the League.
Ø DNF owns the second most Top 5ers Q/R/W/T (4) with a losing record.
Ø CAB is only DFFL team without a Top 5er, yet has a 2-1 record.
DFFL Production:
DFFL scored 1526.44 in Week 3.
(wk1-1493.7; wk2-1558.98, wk3-1526.44).
Meeting Production Expectations:
TMW, KED, TIU and DMM all overachieved or met projected points in Week 3! For all but DMM, this was the second week in three that they went over projections.
KUDOS!!
Wasteful! Just Wasteful!! Perhaps TRADE these STALLIONS away??:
Highest Bencher QB – NUT’s Kirk Cousins (38)
Highest Bencher RB - JWW’s DeVon Achane (54)
Highest Bencher WR – MTT’s Adam Thielen (34)
Highest Bencher TE – TMW’s Sam LaPorta (20)
Highest Bencher K – NUT’s Matt Gay (24)
Highest Bencher DEF – PTS’s Detroit Lions (19)
DFFL Platinum Performers
Sponsored by: Timmy Koffa's Betters Diner - Home of the "40 BURGER"
1. Miami's De'Von Achane (RB) - JWW - 54.3 (BENCHED)
2. Los Angeles' Keenan Allen (WR) - TMW - 48.46
3. Los Angeles' Justin Herbert (QB) - NUT - 45.3
4. Miami's Raheem Mostert (RB) - TIU - 43.7
5. Las Vegas' Davante Adams (WR) - DMM - 42.7
6. Miami's Tua Tagovailoa (QB) - TMW - 41.86
DFFL WEEK 3 AWARDS
Tyson Award. Nite, Nite! Thleep Tight!
- TMW (1), the juggernaut he surprisingly became in the offseason, easily defeated one of DFFL’s perennial strong teams in UGG earning a Tyson for the first time in 2023. The blowout was the worst of the young 2023 season at a whopping 70.16 points!! At 3-0, TMW is solidly the BARLEY DIVISION leader.
2023: RAF (1), PTS (1), TMW (1)
Historical: JWW 139.88
Cliffhanger Award. By the skin of your teeth and newly discovered hair loss!
- NUT (2) for the second week in a row squeaked by his opponent (KED) by a respectable 15.82 points earning the Cliffhanger in a 178.30 to 162.48 victory. This week no losing team got that close in defeating their winning opponent. KED should be seeing RED as he is by far the best worst team in DFFL to start the season. NUT is the team atop the Champion-less MALT DIVISION at 3-0.
2023: UGG (1), NUT (2)
Historical: “The Tie”’19 (CAB vs RAF); “Halloween Howler.84”’22 (TMW vs NUT)
Maguire Award. Show me the Money!
- TMW (2) gets the $30 Bank for a second week in 2023. TMW’s Maguire Award in Week 3 is especially significant, as it’s the first time a DFFL team has broken the 200-point marker in 2023. TMW got 204.02 points out his 10-man team. Sadly, he doesn’t get past 200, and DMM earns his first ever Maguire, if the DENVER BEEOTCHES put a defense on the field Sunday Morning in Miami. As a result of RAF’s dismal week, DFFL scoring was down from Week 2; even with the 200-point marker broken.
2023: TIU (1), TMW (2)
Historical: DNF 246.5
Meme Award. When your best isn’t good enough, but makes for great jokes!
- RAF (2) for the second straight week, brings home a MEME in Week 3. This week however he was unable to even reach the Century Mark….um…by a lot…79.44 points. It isn’t the worst scoring week for a team in DFFL history, but for the Storied RAF Franchise – like his Denver Dufusses – the time is NOW!! to turn the ship around. These low-scoring awards and weekly cellar dweller performances need to turn around if RAF is to make an effort at HOPS DIVISION Champion for the second-straight year.
2023: MTT (1), RAF (2)
Historical: MTT 55.82 (Wk1/2023), OIE (MTT) 66.04.
Shamrock Award. I found me 4-leaf clover, and though small, I be a winner!
- CAB (1), who wins in 2023 only when he is on sabbatical from the team’s Front Office, manages his first SHAMROCK in Week 3 for lowest winning score at 132.96. This winning score is about 5 points lower than PTS’ Shamrock winning score last week. My suggestion for CAB Owner, Bart, is that he plan a weekly “ship visit” until the regular season (maybe even playoffs) is over. Despite the win, CAB plays second-fiddle to HOPS DIVISION leader, PTS (3-0).
2023: UGG (1), PTS (1), CAB (1)
Historical: CAB 102.7
TY-SHAM: PTSvsRAF(wk2 138.02).
Red Shirt Award. Starfleet security officer taking one for CAPT Kirk.
- Speaking of luck, KED (2) is becoming the unluckiest DFFL owner in 2023 (and quite possibly DFFL history), as he continues to navigate each week with tons of solid fantasy production, only to come up on the losing end of the score. KED gets his second straight Red Shirt Award with the highest losing score at 162.48 points. For once, he started the right QB (LaJax), but not the right FLEX WR (Agholor), and was quickly demolished by NUT. NUT was CAPT Kirk this week, and managed to drag KED kicking and screaming down to Planet WekeeThee. I’ll spare the details, but KED’s Mixon got Agholored, while the elusive Brown Herbert-McPherson, Etienne’d Godwin as he Shaheeded in the Sanders with his Walker too far away to assist. KED is a 2023 mainstay with his RED SHIRT in the Hall of Misfortunate Fantasy Ventures.
2023: DMM (1), KED (2)
Historical: NUT 205.10 (Halloween Howler, Oct22)
Mojo Award. “Yeah, Baby!” Best pickup or start/sit decisions.
- TIU (1) gets the Week 3 MOJO Award starting Raheem “Colonel” Mostert who managed a whopping 43.7 points in production against the hapless, spineless, soulless Denver Broncos in Miami. It turns out, TIU has some solid RBs on his squad, and had he started Zack Moss (31.5), he would have beat DNF and still been in the running for a Mojo. Honorable mention goes to NUT for starting Herbert (45.3) over Kirk Cousins (37.68) in his close victory against KED. Either one would have defeated KED at the QB position. DFFL owners had 6 players go over 40 points. While this isn’t necessarily unusual, it remains atypical for a fantasy season.
2023: TMW (1), NUT (1), TIU (1),
Historical: EJT (KAK) 58.25 “FitzMagic”
Noonan Award. “Best Ball Award”...na-na-na-na-naaaa!.
- JWW (2) earns this week’s NOONON Award by not promoting and starting ROOKIE SENSATION, DeVon Achane (54.3) versus the Denver Glue Factory Nags. New to the 2023 DFFL season is the ability to promote Taxi/Practice Squad goobers in any week the owner feels that player can bring him across the finish line. It turns out, Achane with his 50+ point performance would have done just that in Week 3! Had JWW started Achane in place of the useless ARobII (5.4), he would have won versus DMM by a cliffhanger winning difference of 6.4 points!!
2023: MTT (1), JWW (2)
Deck Chairs Award. First Class or Steerage? All equally suck on Titanic!
- RAF (1) picked up a Deck Chair (Tony Jones, Jr.) from the stack of rubble that is the DFFL Waiver Wire in Week 3. RAF figured, “well, it’s possible to beat an ownerless CAB this week!” As he tidied that Jones Jr. Chair on the deck of His Majesty’s Ship RAF, he lazily relaxed in the fuzzy Captain’s chair on the Bridge. Suddenly, he was approached by a Cyborg from a different time. The beastly looking man had the resemblance of Hunter Renfrow…could it be?...No. No, it couldn’t….or could it?? Before he was able to say, “What brings you here to my mighty ship, Bar….” The beast simply said, “I am James Connah!” With that the beast flew the Jones Jr Chair at RAF. RAF staggered off his chair and fell on to the emergency destruct button, just off the side of the telescopic alidade. As HMS RAF floundered, the beast that coulda been Renfrow, but WTH knows?!?, jet-packed off the deck with a loud evil laugh. RAF slipped beneath the waves, still holding tightly to the not-so buoyant arm of the Jones Jr. deck chair….glub, glub, glub….
2023: JWW (1), DMM (1), DNF (1), RAF (1)
Week 3 is in the history books! THREE teams remain unbeaten! THREE teams haven’t known a victory! It’s getting to that point for fire sales; however, we aren’t there yet! This season is still screwable by those who sit atop their divisions; still winnable by those who grasp at the light from deep in the dark musty cellar.
Take nothing for granted! Give up the fight, NOT! Good luck in Week 4 DFFellers!
~Rudolf
Comentarios